knowing

I know.

Because what started as Just be what I want became Just be you, which evolved into Just be.

I know because the thought of you ennobles and inspires.

I know because there are only two places in my heart where hope hasn't died, and God is the other one.

I know because so much of what I wanted to believe became impossible, and I still had the strength to go on living.

Because the gaping warehouse in my heart with your name on it never really feels empty.

Because you taught without teaching, and because of you I felt beyond feeling.

Because the Universe doesn't kid around with perfection. When it happens, it is always significant.

And because the essential things in life do not require evidence of the senses. But I knew it with my senses, too.

In every way I can, I know. And Life's only real misery has come because of trying, in the foolishness and pride of my youth, to question that knowledge.

Finally,

I know--because this is not an apology.