Saturday, September 16, 2006


Up and Down.

Sometimes an almost complete waste: tar in your veins and cracks in the soil. Sometimes a well of creative energy, an unstoppable force for good.

Often in the same day. And sometimes in the same moment.

So all your choices have added up to a two headed snake headed in opposite directions. So you've loved and lost without really loving or losing. So you've dedicated yourself to dreams deferred that explode only to renew themselves--without renewing you. So you felt it all except the fulfillment. So you crave the hint of headache that hovers at the edge of bleach monoxide. So?

The house is built on rock, so it doesn't wash away. But you go out into the night and stand on the porch and invite the ocean, and one second it kisses the bottom step and paints the moon on glass, only to crush you against the door with a two ton wave just as you were about to say: "Ah, how lovely and calm you are tonight."

There is nothing to diagnose. These poles of contradiction are not chemical. They're not socio-economic or emotional or political. Really, they don't even contradict each other. Water is water--predictable to physicists who are not swimming in it. And a Moment is a naked God: it is that it is.

So what's the struggle? Unless you invented it, so you could have something to . . .


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