stopwant

At first I felt I had stumbled upon something great, and mined great calm from a single notion: I discarded the idea of deserving. It felt true. Nobody deserves anything.

Good or bad, phenomena begin with a bang and end with a whimper--or vice-versa--and it is for us to deal. That's it. I stopped feeling cheated. Injustice disappeared. Neither did the good things spoil me. They just happened, and I savored them.

It worked until I couldn't run or hide from the reality that I had cheated myself.